Wednesday, December 14, 2011

3 months

It has been an emotional week. I am not quite ready to put everything out there yet but I will, eventually. I think the Holidays are affecting me more than I thought they would.

Today was bad. Naya has been gone for 3 months. I can't believe it has already been 3 months. In some ways, it feels like it was yesterday and in others it feels like longer. My head hurts thinking about it.

Thank you to everyone who lit candles for my girl on Sunday. It was an incredibly touching experience and I can't think about it without crying. We spent an hour as a family, talking about Naya and crying. I wanted to share some of the pics that were posted on my Facebook wall on Sunday. You guys are amazing and I thank you for thinking of us during this time. It is so much appreciated.

Love to you all and more later (I promise)

This last one is our living room with candles lit for all of the children lost. I have decided that next year, I am going to sponsor and organize an event in our community to honor all these children with speakers, songs, prayers and candles. It was a special moment that I believe needs to be shared.

This last picture is of a drawing that Ty did while we were watching the candles glow on Sunday night. I think his words are pretty insightful. Love to both of my babies. I'm proud to be the mother of you both.


  1. Those pictures are beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes....and cheeks! Thank you for sharing them.

  2. Still cry when I read your blog... every time. We love you all and miss you! We pray for you guys every night! On Sunday we lit all the candles in the house, which is a lot! <3

  3. Hi Jamie, I also lost a child, not in as complicated a way as you...Evan merely died in his sleep 4 weeks ago today. He was 2 days short of 5 months old. While the exact experiences that bring us here are different, many of your thoughts are the same as mine. I feel sometimes like I can't breathe and I don't want to get out of bed. You mention talking with other moms. I am having difficulty finding women to talk to that know the pain that we know. I have a counselor that i see twice weekly and I started attending The Compassionate Friends meetings. But, the meetings are only once a month and the families that met the first time I was there have not lost infants but mostly adult children. They are very nice but it feels different than what I have experienced. I would appreciate it if you could give me any suggestions on where to look. I'm right with you, I thank you for your help and for your honesty.
    Heather L, Evan's mom

  4. Heather,

    I am going to send you my email with a private message on Babycenter.