Thursday, July 24, 2014

Third Birthday

Here we are. It's July 24. Again. The day that would have been Naya's 3rd birthday.

Today has been very humbling. I am absolutely blown away by the amount of support we received today. So many people reached out to offer us their love. It's days like this that remind me how many amazing people I have in my life. I am so lucky to have friends and family that will never let my baby girl be forgotten. You have no idea how much this means to me. As a bereaved parent, you are constantly struggling with the fact that every day moves you further away from your child's death - and therefore their existence. You spend a lot of time trying to rectify this in your head and figuring out a way to make your child seem real to you again. When people take the time out of their day to remember and even celebrate your child, it is incredibly touching and healing. Thank you all for all you do to make my world so bright. 

Although I have been anxiously anticipating it, this day hasn't been what I expected. (As any veteran bereaved parent knows, the anticipation is always worse than the day.) After a good, nasty cry this morning that was deep and soulful, I actually felt pretty good the rest of the day. I had made a conscious decision a few months ago that I wanted to take the day to myself. I spent the afternoon at a local spa and took a yoga class, ate lunch, sat in the hot springs and got a massage. And I thought about Naya. I felt closer to her than I have in a long time. Although it is painful and heartbreaking, today is also the day that I was lucky enough to bring a perfect little girl into the world. A little girl that changed my life in so many ways and made me a better person. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to become her mother.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl. I love you more than you will ever know and I always will.