Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Rhone

Wow. I have been absent for awhile! I have a good excuse though. On September 5 at 1:52am, I gave birth to a beautiful 7lb 9oz baby boy. His name is Rhone Nayin Manalo and he is absolutely perfect. Rhone means "that which runs" or river and Nayin is pronounced like Nigh in and means Bright Eyes in Indian. (It's also an obvious homage to Naya.) He's also very healthy. He's eating and pooping and doing everything normal newborns should do. He actually pooped within the first 6 hours or so after birth. A nurse was in the room with us when we opened that first poopy diaper and started crying with us. She told us that she had never seen parents cry over the first poop before and it was touching.


Speaking of the nurses, we had a wonderful and amazing birth experience this time around. My OB (gosh, I love her), had made sure that the labor and delivery staff knew our story and everyone went above and beyond to make sure that Rhone was thoroughly checked and that we were comfortable with everyone and everything. The on call pediatrician even called a Children's hospital to double check if there was anything he should be specifically doing to check Rhone's digestive system and make sure that his bowels were in working order. Every nurse took the time to check him thoroughly while taking vitals and treated us with so much love and compassion. I truly can't say enough good things about how wonderful everyone was. I am so thankful. It was amazing.

The only hard part was that Rhone had jaundice. He had to be brought to the nursery to be placed under the bili lights and could only spend feeding times with us. It was very tough to be separated from him for that 24 hours, especially because he was in a bed similar to what Naya was in while she was in the NICU. It brought back a lot of hard memories for us (PTSD is a bitch) and we had to keep telling ourselves that he was fine, jaundice is super common and he was in a nursery and not a NICU. Luckily, it only meant an extra day in the hospital and we were able to be released at the same time.

Physically, I am doing very well. Healing is going much more smoothly than it did for either Ty or Naya and I am ready to go back to the gym and start reclaiming my body. Mentally, I am doing well with some hiccups. I can truly say that I am feeling real joy again and the smile on my face is genuine rather than forced. My grief feels like it has changed a bit as well - it's still there, still intense but not constant. Perhaps I am just distracted with Rhone and the work and happiness he has brought or perhaps it's because it's almost been a year since Naya died but I do feel a change of some sort. I am feeling somewhat happy and excited about life again. I never thought I would be able to say that.



Not that the happiness doesn't come with a price. This whole experience with Rhone's birth and all the extra precautions taken have also made me cry. I wish I could go back in time and insist that Naya receive the same care. It has made me realize even more what a shitty deal she got and how much she didn't deserve the hand she got dealt. I wish I could have protected her better. I wish I knew then what I knew now. It makes it hard to fully enjoy my son without feeling guilty about the life my daughter was denied. I still miss her. I always will and I wish I could have both of them. Life can be very bittersweet.

18 comments:

  1. Congratulations! I've been stalking your blog hoping to see that the new baby had come and that you had posted pictures. Yay! He's beautiful!

    I'm so sorry that it's a bittersweet experience because of all that you went through with Naya. And I'm sorry that she isn't there with you to welcome her baby brother home.

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  2. I have never felt so much joy for a complete stranger, but I am so elated for you and your family. He is beautiful and I love his name.

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  3. After not seeing an update in awhile, I figured (hoped) this is why you were MIA! Congratulations...I'm so happy for you and your family. You all deserve every bit of joy that Rhone has brought into your world. Praying for continued good health for your beautiful son, and physical and emotional healing for you.

    -Melissa

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  4. I'm from the July 11 board, Congratulations on your happy news. Enjoy your little bundle!
    Liz

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  5. Congratulations! I'm also from the July 11 board and have followed your heartbreaking journey. I can't believe how happy I am for you and your family, especially having never met you. Rhone is beautiful and I'm so glad you had such a wonderful birth experience.

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  6. Congrats Jamie! he's beautiful. i was stalking your blog everyday hoping to see the great news and a baby pic. Very happy for you. It's great to see you smile in the pic.

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  7. I have been following your blog over the last year. I just wanted to say congrats to you! What a beautiful baby boy you have. I agree with the other poster, it's great to see you smile.

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  8. Yay! congrats! And, he looks alot like the picture posted of Naya. Thinking and praying for you guys all the way from Tennessee. <3

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  9. Congratulations! I was thinking the same thing... he has Naya's nose. They are both privileged to have you as their mother. Enjoy!

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  10. Thank you all! I am so exctied to show him off! So far, he is a good sleeper so I am hoping I will be finding the time to write more and show more pictures!

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  11. Congratulations! Words cannot express how happy I am for you. Your little boy is adorable! Soaking in all of the love he brings must feel pretty good :)

    -Rebecca

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  12. Congrats on your baby boy! I'm so happy for you and your family! I have a month to go and maybe one day our rainbow babies can meet (maybe at a future March of Babies event)! Can't wait to hear and see more cute pictures of your cute, handsome precious rainbow!

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  13. I'm sure Naya will keep a close watch over her little brother. God bless his long, healthy life!

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  14. Congratulations!!! I have been thinking that that baby should be here by now... I am so glad everything is going well, just as I felt it would. Enjoy your new little Rhone to the fullest and don't fret over would of could of should of. You were doing the very very best you could do for little Naya. I am very excited for your family
    Margaret

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  15. Congrats! I am also from the July 11 board and I have been following your blog. I am so happy for you and your family. This is such great news!

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  16. Congrats Jaime! I'm so glad he's here safe and sound.

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  17. Congratulations! I am so incredibly happy for you. He is just gorgeous! <3

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  18. I absolutely LOVE that picture of the 2 of you! I'm from the July '11 board and have been following your journey. It's so nice to see that smile on your face as you look into the eyes of Naya's little brother. His name is perfect. Congrats! He is so precious!

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