Today I went to your grave to talk to you. I told you about your brothers and your daddy. I cried as I told how much I have been hurting lately. How my fears about the future are destroying me. l laid down on the grass to get closer to you. I wish I could have felt you there. I wish I could feel you anywhere. There are days when I am fine but there are others where the pain is so raw, I feel like I did at the beginning of this nightmare. I am never going to stop yearning for you. Sometimes, it is too much. I miss you. I love you. I want you here.